


Boat Drinks

by Soobiebear



Category: The Grand Tour (TV) RPF, Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:54:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26694076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soobiebear/pseuds/Soobiebear
Summary: From Dreamwidth's CHMSlash photo challenge 2020.  I got a photo of James and Richard in a pool with a pink inflatable flamingo.
Relationships: Richard Hammond/James May
Kudos: 9





	Boat Drinks

James was happily soaking in the sun with his feet trailing in the water. Jimmy Buffett blared from the waterproof speaker and his beer was right at hand, safely held in the built in cup holder of the floating lounger. The Flamingo was pink and smelled horribly of vinyl and chlorine. James didn’t care as he basked like a turtle and drifted the day away.

"Waitress, I need two more boat drinks," he sang along even as his lips stuck to the warm plastic. Fingers grabbed at his toes and quickly slid up his feet to his ankles, getting a firm hold around his legs.

“You need more sun creme.” Hammond poked at a spot on the back of his calf that was just starting to feel tight. “At least turn over. Your back is getting red.”

James couldn’t be arsed. He was going to melt here, happily. 

“C’mon, James,” Hammond whined. “I don’t want to listen to you all night. ‘Uuuungh, my sunburn’, ‘It hurts so bad’, ‘Get the aloe...’” Hammond ran out of impersonations and lifted one of James’ legs by the ankle, trying to flip him like a kebab. 

“You’ll just have to be on bottom if my back burns.”

Hands stalled on his ankles. They were alone in their vacation villa but saying things out loud outside of the bedroom was still uncomfortable.

“Like you’d ever,” he said softly. James never topped. Richard never bottomed. It just worked that way. “Still, I don’t want lobster for supper. Roll over.”

James sighed and managed to shift himself on the pool float. Maybe he had singed his back. It complained a bit as he tried to resettle into his flamingo nest. His knees bent over the edge this way, sinking his ankles and feet into the warm water. Richard’s hands landed on his knees, stroking over his kneecaps. 

“You should probably put some shorts on.”

“Who’s going to see me? The Pope?” James reached down to unstick a testicle from his thigh. “I don’t like tan lines.”

Richard looked at the tall hedges surrounding the villa after jumping away from watching James’ hand. They’d paid for the privacy and James intended to use it. “At least a towel.” 

James lifted his head enough to glare. “If anyone’s looking, they’re watching the heiress next door or the footballer one over. Not me.” He reached for his beer and drank down the last of the bottle. It was already warm. He sat up more and passed the empty bottle to Hammond, laying back down and waiting for Richard to get him another. 

“We should probably call Jeremy soon. Brag about being on holiday.” Richard was still holding onto his knees but was now gently pushing him around the pool. James felt the water move underneath the float. 

“I’m sure he’d like the view.” James watched the trees move against the cloudless sky. Was Hammond pushing him closer to the house? He needed suncreme and a beer anyway...

The float was held as Hammond stopped moving, gripping onto the edge to stop momentum. James reckoned they must be near the edge where the path led back to the veranda. Richard would get out of the pool and fetch supplies, letting James watch as he pushed up against the edge of the pool and hauled himself out, wet shorts threatening to slip over hips as he toddled back to the beer cooler.

The edge of the float dipped suddenly and he ended up with a lap full of wet Hamster as Richard jumped onto the float with him. 

“Hammond!” James sputtered as his dry raft suddenly filled with water. Richard slid against him as the flamingo started to dip ominously. James made an abortive grab for the flamingo’s neck as the unbalanced raft overturned and dumped them both into the water. 

Richard surfaced, giggling, as James wiped the water from his eyes. “I told you I’d get you in the pool.”

‘Fins to the left, fins to the right, and you’re the only bait in town’ blared from the still running speaker. James decided that it was an act of war and pushed the flamingo out of the way to clear a path to Hammond.

“Oh shit,” Richard laughed at James’ glare and he started to run as quickly as he could through the water. James splashed him and used his longer legs to catch up and pin Richard against the edge of the pool. 

Richard tried his charming smile as James pushed him against the edge. Being caught was the best part of their little game, especially when James used his size to lean down and press their lips together, body sandwiching Richard into whatever he was against. 

“D’you still want to call Jeremy?”

Hammond looked blank as he wrapped his legs around James’ waist. “Huh?”

It was James’ turn to smile as he reached below the waterline and grabbed Richard’s arse, pulling him down and pressing them together. “Or would you rather fuck on the flamingo?”

Richard tightened his grip around James and squirmed. “You make it sound so filthy.”

James hummed. “That’s merely dirty. Filthy is facetiming Jeremy while you’re balls deep.”

Richard reached over James’ shoulder and started paddling, trying to pull the flamingo closer. “Get the fucking flamingo.”

James assessed the float. It had handles and a neck to hold onto. With balance it should be able to hold two adults, even if the vinyl squeaked under knees and elbows and shoulders. 

James managed to climb back onto the float after a small struggle. He put his arms around the inflated neck and spread his knees into the seam gulleys, quite stable and secure on his own. Richard jumped in again, knocking James over and rolling them around on the wet vinyl like worms. 

‘So Barmaid bring a pitcher, another round of brew. Why don’t we get drunk and screw.’ Jimmy sang as James held the back of Richard’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss.


End file.
